“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.” (Psalm 130:5)
I have heard it so many times, I can’t even count. From relatives, from friends, from even best friends, I’ve heard it. My pain is only in my mind. It can’t be that bad. Oh my gosh, you’re sick AGAIN!
Illness has taught me patience. I’ve learned not to fret when my day involves a lot of waiting–at the doctor’s office, at the pharmacy, or the next specialist I’m meeting with. I’ve learned that doctor’s can’t solve everything and that if they don’t know the answer, they will give you a prescription and send you on your way.I’ve learned that is hard to explain to others that you’ve been to several doctors and you are still in pain because they don’t seem to be able to help you.
Waiting patiently has spilled over into other areas of my life. I have learned not to get upset when plans change, I’ve learned to not be anxious when I just can’t bring myself to get out of bed one day. Patience is a virtue that God tries to teach us through the bible, but many are always running, seeking, waiting for the next thing. I have learned to have patience on the Lord and know that in the right time, my life will turn out just the way, He meant it to all along.
One of the hardest times, for me to wait is when I’m in the midst of a flare-up and all I’m capable of doing is lying in bed. Often, I listen to music or watch television or read to keep myself distracted, but eventually the worry and frustration work their way to the surface. Some days I feel sad and closed in. Other days I feel guilty that I am not doing things around the house. I admit the depression and isolation get to me. My friends call and I can’t answer because I’m either in alot of pain at the time or just don’t feel like talking. I know no one understands this, unless you deal with this chronic pain yourself. I have tried many times to make people realize, I don’t hide on purpose and I really am in pain, but many just brush it off, and go about their day. I have learned to be okay with this, because I know, unless you’ve been in my shoes you can’t understand where I am coming from.
I have found that the only true comfort I get is from the Lord and His Word. When I feel overwhelmed, I know that I can turn to God, and He will calm my anxious mind. Meditating on the promises in His Word allows me to find peace and hope. Reminding myself of His love for me helps me to calm down and look for ways to pour my heart out to Him and to praise Him. I don’t believe that He wants me to feel pain or that I have done something bad to deserve this. I believe He feels I am strong enough to handle this and get through it on my own. That gives me faith that He knows my strengths.
For the last few months, I have spent more time in bed, flat on my back, breathing through the pain and spasms. Even in these circumstances, I sense the presence of God, and I feel encouraged to hold on and trust that His goodness will prevail.
For those of you who have a friend, spouse or relative that is constantly ill, please try to show some sympathy to their pain. They are only trying to get through their day.
“Don’t judge another individual and what they feel, till you have stood in their shoes”
Written By: Debbie A. DeVita
March 23th 2012
When it comes to writing, do you ever struggle with *feeling* inadequate? You figure you aren’t and you’re told you aren’t, but it’s that tiny little thought in the back of your mind when you open the Word document. That one that makes you close down Word before you even write a sentence. Does [...]
Many people who do well with overcoming obstacles in their personal lives have trouble when presented with obstacles at work. Somehow, it seems as though the rules are different in the office and that you are supposed to know all of the answers. Unfortunately, there is often no one around to teach you, what you don’t know. Sometimes you are thrown into the masses with no head start and you must learn to “sink or swim” If you are regularly presented with large and small obstacles at work, here are some steps that will help you to overcome them.
1. Identify The Problem Clearly. What exactly is this obstacle? What is it keeping you from accomplishing? Maybe it is a destructive coworker. Maybe it is a poor relationship with your boss. Maybe it is a policy that just rubs you the wrong way. Whatever the obstacle is, identify it clearly and be specific. This enables you to know exactly what the challenge is that you are dealing with. It also helps you to separate the obstacle from the rest of your work life so that it doesn’t feel as though the challenge is all-consuming.
2. Start Thinking. Spend some time brainstorming possible solutions to your problem. Don’t be afraid to be creative here. When you are brainstorming, anything goes. If your problem is a coworker, maybe your ideas are to talk to your boss about her, avoid her, ask for your office space to be moved, ignore her, or actively try to get her fired. While these are all feasible options, some of them are obviously better choices than others. However, during the brainstorming phase you want to try not to limit yourself only to the “good” options. Sometimes an option that initially looks like a weaker one turns out to be the best course of action.
3. Choose an Action Plan. As I said before, many of the options on your list will not be feasible or wise. However, you will almost certainly have several workable solutions to your problem. Take those solutions and come up with a concrete plan for improving the situation. Sometimes the simple act of making a plan helps the situation to seem less stressful and overwhelming because it helps you to feel more in control of what happens. However, you will also want to turn your plan into action so that you are actually taking steps to improve your work situation.
4. Never Be Afraid To Ask For Help. In the office, many women feel as though they are supposed to go at it alone. However, don’t forget that your coworkers and supervisors are there to help you. Don’t be afraid to ask. It may be requesting an office change so that you are further away from a challenging coworker or exploring the reasons behind a seemingly senseless policy. No matter what your plan of action is, do not be afraid to involve someone else in helping you to overcome workplace obstacles.
Remember if you feel there is a problem, there probably is. Go with your gut and rationally and calmly use the steps above. You can get through anything if you learn to lean on your own understanding and ask for help when the road seems too much for one person alone. Good luck!
Image Credit [workplaceprivacyreport.com]
Written By: Debbie A. DeVita
March 14th 2012
Are true friends hard to find? What makes friends special?
We all have friends and many of us appreciate those friendships. We all need to have true friends and many of us do have close and best friends, but let me ask you this, what makes a friend a true friend? What separates a true friend from an acquaintance? What makes you believe that your friend is true? What makes you want to trust another person, beyond a shadow of a doubt?
Characteristics of a true friend
Here is a quick guide to what I believe are the characteristics of a true friend:
1. Wants the best for you
A true friend wishes you the best all the time. If he finds you that you are succeeding in life and achieving your goals, he will support you.
2. Supports you
If you are experiencing difficult circumstances, you will find the true friend tries his best to reduce your pain and brings you out of your current emotional state.
A true friend is the one who is honest with you. If you ask him for your help, he will not say what pleases you, he will say what he thinks it is in your best interest. The true friend gives you advice that will support you, helps you, and that makes you move forward in a positive way.
4. Doesn’t judge you
A true friend supports you all the time. He accepts you the way you are and doesn’t try to change you. He accepts your personality the way it is with your positive and negative qualities.
5. Listens to you
There are friends who stay with you when everything is going well, but when you experience a hardship, they disappear and don’t lend you a hand in your adversity. A true friend on the contrary is the one you find in those hard times lending you a hand.
6. Makes you part of his life
A true friend introduces you to his friends and family and makes you part of his family. You are a blessing in his life.
7. Keeps your secret
A true friend keeps your secrets and weaknesses. He doesn’t reveal your secrets or blackmail you. Respecting your privacy is one of your friend’s goals. He doesn’t gossip about you in front of others.
Always remember THIS “A true friend has your back, even when it might break their back to catch you” #SImplyDebbie
Written by: Debbie A. DeVIta
March 10th 2012
Image credit [psychologyonline-2.blogspot.com]