I have been away from the blogging world for awhile now. Although I have blogged sporadically throughout the summer I have not been doing my usual writings on Twitter or blogging as normally as I usually do. The most important things in life have come to the surface for me in several different ways. I have come to realize through many different events that I have to find out what I truly want and go after it, no longer being afraid. (more…)
Just typing these words across the screen, make me realize how much I am still holding on to in my life. People who don’t serve my purpose, relationships that only bring me pain, circumstances that don’t drive my success, or help me with my dreams. Letting go, is one of the hardest things, we do in life. The stigma is this, “if I let go, it means I have given up” Is this true? I don’t think it is. When something brings you pain, or doesn’t help you to grow, letting go saves you, more than holding on, to something, that only destroys you.
And here I am, still holding on.
There are things in life that just can’t be. There are situations, that are there for a while, for a purpose. Some people, are meant to be a small part of your life and then it is time for them to go, to move on, so you can be, who you were meant to be. God can help you, but only if you give Him all of you. He can help only if you let Him. He will show you, how to let go of what is not meant for you. He will guide you, but only, if you give him all the pieces, only if you are really ready to let go of these toxic situations and people. He can’t do it for you, but He can see you through.
Letting go doesn’t mean I have given up.
Realizing where I don’t trust and where I lack in faith completely, really hurts my heart. I can feel the pain inside me growing like cancer as I am moving through the motions of life without completely trusting Him. I can feel the emptiness and the void inside me consume with doubt, insecurity, and shame. I want to let go and let God help, but something inside me, is pushing me to stay. How can I be expected to let go of those that hurt me, when they are the ones who are supposed to love me? When a friend hurts you, it stings. You grieve and move on, but when someone so close to your heart, causes this damage, you don’t know how to let go, and move on. While all those feelings are above the surface, I find refuge knowing that God loves me. He will always love me, and that won’t ever change. Regardless of how long it takes me, or how much pain I bare, when I am ready, He will be there.
God loves and accepts me whether I give up all areas of my life completely to Him or not. More than that, He’s waiting.
There is peace knowing that there is someone in my life waiting for me with open arms. Regardless of how many times I stumble, fall short, or how broken, He’s waiting. Letting go of areas in our life isn’t easy, it never is. Everything that I’ve held on to has hurt more than helped me, but there is healing.
That healing is found in God.
From someone who has always been in control of her life, letting go and letting God isn’t easy. However, it’s necessary if I want to to be happy in life.Truly happy. Because yes, happiness exists. As fleeting as it is at times, it’s there, it’s waiting, and its name is God. He is always there waiting for me. Waiting for me to say, it’s time to end this pain.
He’s waiting and it’s time I let go.
If there is something in your life you are currently holding on to, whether it’s past baggage, past hurts, let it go and give it to God. There is no harm in walking away from it, because there is a new life waiting for you. A life that matters.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, it just means finally letting God have control.
Let go and let God have it now.
Remember this, He can’t let go for you, but He will hold you when you do decide to free yourself from this and all things, that only cause you strife and further pain.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight.
Written By: Debbie A. Devita
April 2nd 2012
“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.” (Psalm 130:5)
I have heard it so many times, I can’t even count. From relatives, from friends, from even best friends, I’ve heard it. My pain is only in my mind. It can’t be that bad. Oh my gosh, you’re sick AGAIN!
Illness has taught me patience. I’ve learned not to fret when my day involves a lot of waiting–at the doctor’s office, at the pharmacy, or the next specialist I’m meeting with. I’ve learned that doctor’s can’t solve everything and that if they don’t know the answer, they will give you a prescription and send you on your way.I’ve learned that is hard to explain to others that you’ve been to several doctors and you are still in pain because they don’t seem to be able to help you.
Waiting patiently has spilled over into other areas of my life. I have learned not to get upset when plans change, I’ve learned to not be anxious when I just can’t bring myself to get out of bed one day. Patience is a virtue that God tries to teach us through the bible, but many are always running, seeking, waiting for the next thing. I have learned to have patience on the Lord and know that in the right time, my life will turn out just the way, He meant it to all along.
One of the hardest times, for me to wait is when I’m in the midst of a flare-up and all I’m capable of doing is lying in bed. Often, I listen to music or watch television or read to keep myself distracted, but eventually the worry and frustration work their way to the surface. Some days I feel sad and closed in. Other days I feel guilty that I am not doing things around the house. I admit the depression and isolation get to me. My friends call and I can’t answer because I’m either in alot of pain at the time or just don’t feel like talking. I know no one understands this, unless you deal with this chronic pain yourself. I have tried many times to make people realize, I don’t hide on purpose and I really am in pain, but many just brush it off, and go about their day. I have learned to be okay with this, because I know, unless you’ve been in my shoes you can’t understand where I am coming from.
I have found that the only true comfort I get is from the Lord and His Word. When I feel overwhelmed, I know that I can turn to God, and He will calm my anxious mind. Meditating on the promises in His Word allows me to find peace and hope. Reminding myself of His love for me helps me to calm down and look for ways to pour my heart out to Him and to praise Him. I don’t believe that He wants me to feel pain or that I have done something bad to deserve this. I believe He feels I am strong enough to handle this and get through it on my own. That gives me faith that He knows my strengths.
For the last few months, I have spent more time in bed, flat on my back, breathing through the pain and spasms. Even in these circumstances, I sense the presence of God, and I feel encouraged to hold on and trust that His goodness will prevail.
For those of you who have a friend, spouse or relative that is constantly ill, please try to show some sympathy to their pain. They are only trying to get through their day.
“Don’t judge another individual and what they feel, till you have stood in their shoes”
Written By: Debbie A. DeVita
March 23th 2012